Tweedle-dumb on Twain's torch

I had to laugh when reading the media's "headline" news that country superstar Shania Twain has donated the Olympic torch she ran with in her hometown of Timmins, Ontario to the museum there bearing her name.

First off, who gives a darn? True, if I had been a torchbearer, I'd likely have spent the $350 required to keep my flame holder as a souvenir, mainly because I have this collecting madness (although I have been assured that it's nowhere as bad as anything you see on the strange TV show Hoarders). But if this museum is so hard up for stuff that this torch now becomes an icon... well, pretty sad, I think.

Second, there is the museum itself. Last March 20, I kicked off my official work as The Colon Guy with the first stop on the Giant Colon Tour, a five-day stint in Timmins. When the Mayor stopped by to see the Giant Colon, he asked me if I had been to the museum yet. When I said negative, he told me... "if you have some time this weekend, drop in... I will call ahead. Just tell them the mayor sent you."

Now, let me tell you that there is NOTHING to do in downtown Timmins. Aside from a very good cafe there, that's about it. Locals told me the museum was a sorry institution and that Twain had been there but once in years, to show it to her young son while it was closed to the public. In any case, I was in fact off work that Sunday and I called to find out what time the museum was open... only to hear on a recording that it was closed weekends during the winter months!

Ahhh, Mr. Mayor? You'd think you'd be aware of that. At least you've got that cafe to be proud of....